


A Longing

by cloversluck



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, i honestly don't know what else to put here, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 08:12:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9170191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloversluck/pseuds/cloversluck
Summary: There’s a feeling that can't be explained that seems to linger around when it comes to losing something, an unfathomable frustration knowing that until it’s found, things will in some way never be the same.A month has passed since he was taken.





	

**Author's Note:**

> so I really wanted to write something from Lydia's viewpoint regarding her feelings towards everything that is happening this season, ya know with her losing her love and all (amazing). 
> 
> side note, anything in italics is her talking! I feel like I didn't make that super clear.

There’s a feeling that can't be explained that seems to linger around when it comes to losing something, an unfathomable frustration knowing that until it’s found, things will in some way never be the same. 

A month has passed since he was taken. 

Honestly it doesn’t seem like that much time has gone by. With all of the work that has gone into getting the pack to believe in his existence and believe in the fact that *crazy* isn’t a word that is applicable to anything regarding the current situation. No not a month, instead it seems like an eternity. All of the long nights and the seemingly never ending dead ends that kept appearing after only the slightest glimmer of hope. Never being capable of fully convincing any of them. 

It wasn’t until recently that she was able to get Scott on board. That night in the Jeep, the radio suddenly blaring to life, screeching, finally settling on the familiar voice. 

_‘So many things trace back to the Jeep’._

There was a sort of desperation in all three of their voices, a longing. Hearing him call for them both, questioning the validity behind them actually being able to hear and respond. There was so much that could have been said, so many words that never got the chance to be spoken. 

_‘I wanted to say so many things to you. The radios and their quick disconnect be damned.’_

Instead only short sentences and fleeting moments of relief. Quick memories of love and a deep desire that it’s remembered. A promise made by both Scott and herself, to him, to find Canaan. Unbeknownst at the time, but it turns out that it was the name of one of the many towns that had been erased, it’s people all taken and forgotten. It was a frightening thought. Knowing that so many were affected. That it was a larger problem that went far beyond just him. 

_‘It’s all so complicated right now. I was convinced you know, that the biggest problem would be to get anybody to actually think I wasn’t making you up. For a while, that seemed to be the only thing in the way of me finding you and bringing you back.’_

Not anymore. The memory, one that isn’t that long ago to begin with, is missed. The simplicity that was wishing that somebody aside from herself would acknowledge the blatant gap in all of their lives that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. The thought was bliss in comparison to the current time. The things that are now known that weren’t before. The new knowledge that seemed to push them back even further. It left a new fear in all of their hearts. Especially in hers. 

_‘It’s up to me, in a way. It’s up to me to save you and anybody else that I can get the chance to. I’m struggling with it though. Struggling to accept the fact that all of this could end terribly. I can see so many ways that this could go wrong and so very few that end in success all around. That end in no death.’_

There was clarification throughout the trip to Canaan. Visiting the barren town was like looking into the inevitable future that was in store for Beacon Hills and other surrounding places. It was like seeing a possible version of her own life. Alone, left with nobody. Having, once again, no choice in it all. Being forced to live a life that consisted of never ending confusion as to when her loved ones would finally return to her. 

Seeing the other women, the women that so closely resembled so many of her fears. It brought about new emotions, more difficult ones to understand. It forced thoughts to come to her head, questions. About why her. Why everything fell back to that one night that all of this had started in the first place. It was times like this that she wished in some way she could go back and prevent it all, selfishly she sometimes desired the time in her life when her biggest problem revolved around if her fellow students would see through her facade. Thoughts like those made her feel unsettled in some way however. Was her life then really any better than the one she is living now? The people sure weren't. It all made her head spin.

_‘My powers keep expanding it seems. I am beginning to wonder if they will ever stop, quit making me question things more and more. Let me breathe and figure out the hundred that I already have.’_

Not giving into the pressure and allowing herself to fold was easily one of the most prevailing issues. Even though as of yet, she hasn’t stopped trying to push forward.The words that he had said seemed to constantly echo in her mind. It left a fire in her, an eagerness to not forget and to keep remembering.

_‘I don’t want it all to get to me. Not again and especially not right now. Not when we are, in most ways at least, closer than ever to finally getting you back to us. It’s just….I’m scared? Yeah. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you, like god, there’s so much…’_

There was that stress that added to all of this. No matter what, she was hell-bent on making sure he had a safe return to them all. Her motivation wasn’t specifically there because of…well…what he had said but she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit to it helping her in some way.

_‘There are so many reasons to want to have you back, there are so many reasons to want to stop the Ghost Riders. It doesn’t revolve around me, around us. Life in Beacon Hills isn’t going to suddenly stop being spontaneous and confusing just to make room for for potential date nights or ‘quality time’’_

She is all too aware of how the bad things don’t just leave because good things are happening alongside them. If anything, through her experiences it seems like the bad becomes more relentless, more unforgiving with it’s efforts to make sure it matches up with the positive events taking place. Supernatural or personal, it’s all the same really. The only problem is that with the supernatural it’s more complicated. It’s not a matter of what dress works best or why won’t the teacher allow her to use her own mathematical theorem. It’s life or death most of the time. 

_‘There was this women that we had gone to see, in the town that you had told us about. She kept repeating that she was waiting for her family to come back to her. Obviously that wasn’t just going to happen as you might guess. She is the reason all of us are struggling right now, in some weird way. The conversation we had was a reminder that this whole issue with the Ghost Riders has been going on for a while, it’s not recent. It’s not just us. How much easier would it be if it was, I wonder.’_

It brings her back to where she is now. Sitting in the same Jeep that so many of the memorable events over the last while had taken place.Her hand was grasping at the radio that was used a week ago, during the time when they had first made contact with him since he was taken. In her opinion, she seemed to be even more desperate now. Knowing that to some extent he was safe and capable of communicating through to them.

_‘I’ll carry on. I mean, is there really anything else to do? I might not sound lifelike at the moment but I’m trying. I’m not going to give up on this, I’m not going to give up on you Stiles.’_

Her grip loosened on the small communicator and she connected it back to the small box that the wire from the bottom of the radio lead to. Hopefully more answers would appear soon, time seemed to be running short. She knew that It was something that wouldn’t help him there though, so it was information left out. It might not have been the most positive conversation but still. There’s no part of her that can consider his death, let him consider it. 

She took a deep breath in, allowing the silence in the car to be filled for a quick moment by the release of it. Maybe today would be better. It had to be.....right?

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure if I wanted to make this longer or not, but also I really wanted to get it out before the next episode since I feel like this story could kinda be completely irrelevant after it? I don't know. I hope you enjoyed it though! (: sorry if it's not 100% in character, this season is just leaving me with a lot of feelings and gah Lydia loves Stiles to much it makes my heart hurt. Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
